If anyone is still on here, and want to know what Ive been up to latelyyyy
Subscribe to my OnlyFans 🎀 it’s FREE 🥵
(Yes I am back and will write now that I have the time and money to stay home and write 🥺)
@angel_uncensored
Anonymous asked:
Oh my god my loves
Send me anything, I’m still alive! I miss you all!
Yes I’m still writing, I’ve expanded my horizons so I write a lot more than just Supernatural stuff now! Hit me with anything you want to know! Love and miss you guys
so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god
okay so i just got my dream job??? a week after applying to it?? and now i’m thinking….maybe this is the good luck post
…..not even six hours later i got an offer of a well paying full time long-term job with free room and board in queens in nyc, allowing me independence and a way to escape an abusive situation and an unhealthy environment
likes charge reblogs cast, folks, this is the good luck post
whydoyouwantmyusername-blog asked:
So this was sent to me months ago, and I’m just now looking through because a shit storm hit me today and I’m very lost. I lost my job, a job I’ve loved since I started… thank you for the quotes, thank you for the thoughts, thank you… I needed it very much 🖤💖
Anonymous asked:
Good babydoll, thank you! How are you doing?? How’s my family?
onlygodcanjudgeme-sh-deactivate asked:
My favorite song has been the same forever 😅 It’s called “Somebody Else” by The 1975 🖤 https://youtu.be/UxVRhrfsleQ
Just trying to smile again 👍🏼 send me some love, questions, or really anything and I’d love to talk or even write for you guys again 📝
Anonymous asked:
I’m sorry honey, don’t ever feel bad for coming to me. I love all of you guys and I’m here for you no matter the circumstances. Get yourself another fishy or maybe something new, reach out to this friend and maybe it’ll help you feel better about it. Love you bunches, lil bean 🦋
extrovertsthoughtlessthough-blog
1:09 am – Wednesday morning
February 7, 2018
Second Blog Post ––
I get home from work on a Tuesday night going into a Wednesday morning feeling drained of all energy and appetite. I can’t seem to focus on something other than the fact I looked over something that has happened to me in my birth month. I’m now remember every single detail that I push aside every day. I close my eyes and I see it. I try to list to music and I hear it. I try my best to forget everything but nothing has worked this far. Now I’m staring at this screen picturing myself eating this bowl of soup that I heated up for myself. Willing myself to eat it, telling myself to shove it down my throat, but I just can’t seem to move - except my fingers on this keyboard.
I take a bite.
It’s gross.
I sigh loudly and take another bite.
Still not much better.
Everything tastes bad when my brain does this.
My brain is hyper focusing on the details of my past, and doesn’t even stay in the same lane more than twice. It’s the day that it happened, the night that it happened, the month after it happened, and even the beginning of the last year before it happened. I’m hyper focusing on the names, and faces that I saw that year - trying to see if they could see it coming. If they ever thought something like this would happen to me - except I know my answer.
No.
They couldn’t but then..
Another thought pops into my head -
it’s not pretty and it’s made my insides harden -
what if at least one of them thought I’d be the one that it happened too. Not with him, or specifically this way. Or maybe they thought I’d deserve it.
I’m not innocent little child who doesn’t know right from wrong, but I’m damn sure someone would have thought I deserved what I got. I know how people think. I did my best to rummage through many psychology books to see how people will think.. i just hope no one thought I deserved it.
I hope that my grandmother realizes what she had said to me several months ago will never go away in my head. It still rings in my ears to this day.. “You didn’t have to go to him that day.” It’s true - I didn’t but… that implies I knew it would happen. That implies she knew it would happen. That implies she agrees with the man that told me “You were naive enough to date a senior when you are a freshman..” That would also lead me to believe she would secretly agree “Don’t ruin his career because you were to naive to know this would happen.”
Maybe I’m over complicating things, and thinking far to into this. After all, I know what came out of her mouth but I don’t know what stuck in her head. I know that she probably didn’t mean it, but she’s to stubborn to say so. Except that implies I know her, and from what my ears have been honored to hear is that I don’t.
I hate to admit it to myself but I’m probably not going to trust her ever again. I also hate to admit to myself that she’s not my grandmother anymore. She’s just like the teacher, and counselor that said those things to me. She’s just like those girls that called me a slut or a liar. She’s someone I don’t know, and I can’t blame her for being that person I don’t know. I also can’t blame her for realizing she doesn’t know me at all.
I just wish it didn’t hurt her so much to know I kept a secret all these years from her. I also wish that she didn’t hold it so angrily against me.
I wish I could understand what goes through people’s brains well enough to know what they’ll say before they say it so I don’t have to suffer from the not knowing if I could have told someone something that is important to me or know I’m safe in my little bubble of people that know how horrible it feels to have your little world turn against you.
Letting people get close to you after this, it’s almost impossible to know who’s going to break you into little pieces or who’s going to build you up. Just find your little tests and make them as fool proof as you can. Trust me, some will slip through those little cracks of your plan, but others will only build you up. I hope you find them. I hope I find them.
I also hope you don’t cringe when someone touches you again because I still cringe to this day. Not because I hate how my body looks but I hate what’s happened to it..
I have a new quote that’s helping me move forward.
“Freedom is what you do with what’s been done to you.” – Jean - Paul Sartre.
